cher inconnu,

people come and go. i have often heard this phrase, spoken to me in reassurance against my worries of not being able to keep close to heart friends that are miles away. but i never thought i'd hear it in the context of permanence.

everything is transient. pain, mostly, and again, i never thought i'd hear it in the context of life. 

we are too young, i always fancied. what about

...all the friends she was waiting for a chance to catch up with? 
...all the things she hadn't done?
...her bright future? 
...her family? 
...the people who didn't get a chance to hear the news, but are waiting eagerly to see her again? 
...the feelings of someone who no longer has any time to her name, if i don't spend each and every moment of my life wisely?
...a second chance? 

just the other day i was thinking that, we should go back to mongolia again, us four! and now it can only be us three. 

so many possibilities now impossible.
so many questions, now unanswered forever.

for you, from today on, i will live with more verve and passion.

fridays are officially my slackest days of the week, with only morning korean classes scheduled. so for these three weeks before the korean program begins, i have *insert drumroll* ... no class! i originally had many grand plans for my long weekends, such as cycling across the peninsula, going to a jimjilbang (alone for now, for somehow i don't really fancy the idea of wearing my emperor's clothes - or as irene adler calls it, the battle dress - in front of friends) or conquering a mountain, but unsurprisingly i find myself sleeping in past noon, making a cup of tea and plopping myself down on the couch with a book and my computer, unwilling to venture out into that foggy, unpropitious cold. 

as of such, these 5 days back in korea have been pretty zen - re accustoming myself to life (climbing hills to get to classes, and the weather oh the cold brr), attending first classes, picking up the language again, learning to be a better person through watching and reading the likes of homes' this book will save your life and TED talks about the power of introverts and vulnerability, drinking teas... 

i am also pretty excited for this semester. with my masters apps completed, i now have the prerogative to take anything i want - so basketball, skin scuba and taekwondo it is. my basketball teacher looks like lee sun gyun, i'm going to have my own taekwondo uniform and last summer, the scuba teacher brought the class to jeju island for a 3d2n diving trip at the end of the semester!!! boy is this semester promising :D

cheers to a healthy and fun semester ahead!

after months of negligence, i, inspired by a blog previously chanced upon of a girl who recorded the every day of her university life as a foreign student in paris, am suddenly struck with the urge to blog; to record just a little bit more of this year abroad that is purported to be the most amazing, eye-opening and fun year in the university life of sciences po. 

it is my third day back in town, and i am beginning my second semester at yonsei after a yawning winter break of three months. life is so easy to pick up once again i feel as if i had not left - almost - except for tiny details such as rearranged furniture, new construction works, and changed faces. 

this time however everything is starting off pretty well - during the holidays i had made extensive plans about my exercise regime, the bank to which i applied to replied favorably about an internship, i know my way around and i speak the language - nothing like the cloud of confusion i sailed into when i arrived last august. it also started with a great blessing from a man who i shall call mr samsung - he kindly offered to pay my airport bus fare when i did not have change, and when i contacted him, refused the requital, saying that it was nothing big, and that he only hopes that i have a pleasant impression of korea and a fun and meaningful year in seoul. i have never used this term on a middle-aged man before, but, what an angel! 

today i hit the road again and made it to school in record breaking time. after an approximate twenty kilometers of biking however, i fully appreciate what one month of inactivity can do to a person's body. biking to school is doing me wonders - it gives me time to think, endorphins, a good appetite, and hopefully, a nice butt - and i am contemplating making it a permanent fixture in my life. in france, in singapore, wherever. seul gyu told me that, the last time i was on the field playing rugby, he saw so much joy. "you should never give up sports", he said. well, i shall do my best to not let my laziness get the better of me! 

i realised too that there are an increasing number of things that i enjoy doing alone these days. is it part of growing up? or simply getting used to being a stranger in a foreign land? or my introverted solitary-seeking side rearing its head (what contradicting imagery)? who knows. 

lastly, oreo turned a century old yesterday. 

seoul has been one hell of an experience. the whirling lights, the drinking culture, the rowdiness of university students (especially drunk ones), the late nights out, the academic rigour, the number of hours put into work, the social pressure, the awful bus rides, the bustling city... it's overwhelmed me sight taste smell hear touch. i've met so many people from all kinds of backgrounds and from all over the world - koreans who have been overseas for a little while, koreans born overseas, koreans born and bred in korea, americans, scandinavians, japanese, singaporeans etc. - as i did in le havre, but after three years of doing this, it's getting really tiring. i want to get to know people as people, not just what their names are, what they're doing in korea, what food they like and blahh, but when so many people come and go there is only so much you can glimpse into them before they are whisked away. i want to find people that make me feel genuinely happy when i see them. relieved even, because i finally see a familiar and comfortable face in this sea of strangers.

one thing seoul has taught me: the more the number of people, the more you feel alone. 

and so my two year jaunt in the little (perhaps not so little after all) town of le havre in france has ended and i am off to embark on a new chapter and a new beginning in seoul, the soul of asia! 

from a culture which only works 35 hours a week, where administration limps along on one foot, where strikes have become a hobby, where shops close at 6pm and even medical clinics do not open on weekends... i am moving on to a city that not only never sleeps, but also never rests. 24/7 convenience stores, flashy bright lights, leading technology, SPEED AND EFFICIENCY (asian professionalism mansei!), confucianism, spicy food (yay!), a place where everyone else has black hair and eyes just like me... boy did i miss asia :D although, i often find that asia is a place where you can too easily be caught up in the little vanities of life. 

admittedly i was a bit disappointed at not being able to go to japan, but news of yet another earthquake reassured me that my decision was timely. and in any case, i could embark on my japanese experience in later years of my education! 

as for home, well, she was, still and always will be the best. singapore is still the country in the world that i like the most, except for the fact that the weather is TOO HOT!!! this year though, life feels a bit different - the girls are all working, interning, graduating soon, while the boys are all entering university - it feels as if the world has moved on while i'm still stuck in the singapore of two years ago, when i left. other than this curious feeling, i've been very happy eating, swimming, playing, and learning korean from scratch, which is basically what i have been doing for the past month since i've been back. again an ambivalent feeling, one of guilty indulgence, i can't believe i'm slacking my entire summer away! :$ 

i realise i actually do not have a lot of time left - it's 3 weeks then vietnam, then one last week before i leave for korea for yet another year away from home. 

i'm growing old. things that use to excite me and flood me with energy and enthusiasm are just little pokes and prods in my heart now, and more often than not all i want is to sink into an arm chair or recline into a massage chair and just... chill, read a book, drink a mug of hot chocolate, do nothing. maybe take a walk in the dappled sunlight, do some grocery shopping, take an afternoon siesta... 

what i love about the uk is its cleanliness and its vibrance. france is much more subdued, and in some ways, shady and not as clean. the uk bursts with colours, france is shades of grey. just compare their capitals. 

also it's confirmed, i'm going to korea for my third year, attached to yonsei university. jjajangmyeon and kimchi jigae here i come! 

i can't believe it's june and still temperatures dip into the sub ten. 

i just completed my last essay EVER at sciences po le havre, fifteen pages on the relationship of indian secular democracy and hindu nationalism *_* i will never EVER have to do this again :D 

yayyy time to celebrate, slaaaack and sleeeep... time to PARTYYYY! 

today is one of those days. it's almost 3 am, i'm sitting on my couch, windows open, full moon clearly visible in the finally dark night sky. i can't sleep, i take out persuasion, but after ten pages of perusal i find i have retained nothing.

it has been a long time since i last blogged, 3 months apparently, and well, as usual, lots of things have changed. in a month or so i will be leaving le havre (for good?), but till now i am uncertain of summer and my third year - what am i going to do, where am i going? i know on the 15th of june i will step on singaporean soil once again, but then from there on, life is murky. japan has fallen off the headlines in favour of novelty news, except for the sprinkling of "honda has resumed production" and "japanese supermarket shelves stripped of bottled water"... though i guess for now no big news is good news, and japan should be steadily on her way to recovery. 

sometimes i can't help wondering, how different would life have been, my future too, if i had chosen to take up the llb law and french option i had in the uk instead? who would i have met, what would i have done, what places would i have seen? sciences po does drain, not just physically and intellectually, and while i previously reveled in the tight-knit and close student community, i now find this microcosm of higher education society a bit claustrophobic and stifling. 

even the clouds that previously obscured the moon have gone to sleep, so have the stars; the moon is my sole companion. 

tumblrs are addictive, i have to admit. even more so when you have a co-blogger nagging at you to blog every turn of the day. today i finally finished my revision before 5 am and can sleep early so i shall drop a word before i go to bed. i shall cheat and copy off my tumblr post but who cares :D 

( learning a language overnight )

i cannot wait for the exams to end! i have never felt as unprepared before zzzzz. becuase time is running out i shall blog about my brussels amsterdam and scotland experience some other time. till then, look book will entertain me when i'm saturated. boy are they skinny!

got a tumblr! :)